1. Be quick to criticize and slow to compliment and encourage people.
2. Pride yourself on being a "tell-it-like-it-is" person.
3. Work as hard as you can to try to change, control and fix the people who are in your life. If they don't change, make them feel bad, low and inferior.
4. Gossip about others behind their backs.
5. Focus on other people's sins and wrong doings.
6. Be quick to give advice and slow to receive advice. In fact, when someone offers a suggestion, make sure you dismiss it before you even try to consider it.
7. Actively work at finding fault in others.
8. Constantly enlighten others on how hard your life is and how everyone and everything seems to be out to get you.
9. Don't even consider being kind to others.
10. Act as if you are doing people a favor by being in their presence.
11. When you offer to help someone, make them feel indebted to you.
12. When someone helps or even offers to help you, regardless of how large or small the situation is, let them know that you don't need other people's help and don't express any appreciation for their thoughtfulness.
13. When a person seems to be at a low place in their life, coyly say things to rub it in. Make sure that you are sly about it so that the "kick" will be almost undetected.
14. Criticize people for being too happy.
15. Brag about all of the good things happening in your life without recognizing the great things happening in other people's lives.
16. When a person does tell you of something good that is happening to them, question it and put seeds of doubt into their head.
Now that you have everything you need to be a "needy friend magnet" go and apply these principles and have a wonderful day.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A Poem I Wrote In 1999
I've been cleaning my basement all week and I happened to find a folder that had a bunch of my poems in it from 1999. I read this one and thought that this would be a good post. Have a great day everyone. ~Alisani
Shining
By Alisani Brazil
February 2, 1999
When people look at me, who do they see,
A black girl just walking around timidly?
Or do they see fear in my eyes screaming loud
That I am but lost and need to be found?
No? How about pride peeping up from my nose
Looking down on others, their sins to be exposed?
Jealousy or envy? Maybe it's strife?
Can't wait to stab others in their back with a knife.
I long for others to see me showing love,
Compassion and kindness flowing forth like a Dove.
Faith, hope and peace for all who come nigh.
Joy and gladness from God reigning on high.
Serving others the best that I know I can
Because I was fashioned by God and not man.
That people may to my presence come again
To see God's holy light shining bright from within.
~Alisani Brazil
Shining
By Alisani Brazil
February 2, 1999
When people look at me, who do they see,
A black girl just walking around timidly?
Or do they see fear in my eyes screaming loud
That I am but lost and need to be found?
No? How about pride peeping up from my nose
Looking down on others, their sins to be exposed?
Jealousy or envy? Maybe it's strife?
Can't wait to stab others in their back with a knife.
I long for others to see me showing love,
Compassion and kindness flowing forth like a Dove.
Faith, hope and peace for all who come nigh.
Joy and gladness from God reigning on high.
Serving others the best that I know I can
Because I was fashioned by God and not man.
That people may to my presence come again
To see God's holy light shining bright from within.
~Alisani Brazil
Why I Started The Luncheons
Why Alisani Started The Luncheons & High Teas (taken from her website)
Many of you have been following my blogs and possibly have even read my book and have been inspired to dream larger dreams for yourself and live a positive lifestyle. This is very exciting and you will see positive results in your life because of it. A reoccurring theme that keeps coming up in the emails that I receive and in personal conversations is that many people do not have a positive support system to keep them motivated. Many people have told me that their friends are abandoning them because they want to be free to complain and gossip and engage in other counter productive activities.
I've also been getting emails from people asking for names of other books and websites that have been helpful to me over the years. As you have probably guessed, I have read a lot of books on self-improvement and have visited a lot of websites.
This is how I birthed the idea of the Ladies' Luncheons. I wanted to create a venue where like-minded positive people could get together and inspire and motivate each other. Napoleon Hill, the author of, "Think and Grow Rich" refer to this as the "Mastermind Group." Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Andrew Carnegie and other great men in history all new the importance of creating mastermind groups and having a strong and positive support team.
The sad reality is that over 90% of the people you will interact with on a daily basis with be comfortable living in mediocrity and negativity. The main reason is because they are not aware that they are in a negative mindset and because they are just plain comfortable with where they are in life.
I wanted to proactively do something about this. What if I could bring a bunch of women together for the common cause of creating a positive mastermind group for the benefit of keeping each other inspired and accountable? Could this be done? Are there enough ladies out there who desire to meet and befriend other like-minded positive ladies who want to have a huge positive impact on themselves, their families and ultimately the world. I BELIEVE SO!
I am inviting all of you to join me and the other ladies who are committing to live a conscious and positive lifestyle to join me at our luncheons. Expect to meet other ladies who want to support and encourage you and who you can in turn support and encourage as well.
I am so honored and tremendously happy that you are joining me. Together we are going to accomplish so many amazing things for ourselves and the world around us. I'm expecting to see many of you start your own successful business. Others will go on to have amazing charities that help so many less fortunate people. This is a new day that we are living and I can't wait to see the opportunities that are going to be handed to us just from our belief and positive expectations. See you at the next luncheon everyone!
~Alisani Brazil, The Happy Kindalista
http://thepamperedrose.com
Many of you have been following my blogs and possibly have even read my book and have been inspired to dream larger dreams for yourself and live a positive lifestyle. This is very exciting and you will see positive results in your life because of it. A reoccurring theme that keeps coming up in the emails that I receive and in personal conversations is that many people do not have a positive support system to keep them motivated. Many people have told me that their friends are abandoning them because they want to be free to complain and gossip and engage in other counter productive activities.
I've also been getting emails from people asking for names of other books and websites that have been helpful to me over the years. As you have probably guessed, I have read a lot of books on self-improvement and have visited a lot of websites.
This is how I birthed the idea of the Ladies' Luncheons. I wanted to create a venue where like-minded positive people could get together and inspire and motivate each other. Napoleon Hill, the author of, "Think and Grow Rich" refer to this as the "Mastermind Group." Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Andrew Carnegie and other great men in history all new the importance of creating mastermind groups and having a strong and positive support team.
The sad reality is that over 90% of the people you will interact with on a daily basis with be comfortable living in mediocrity and negativity. The main reason is because they are not aware that they are in a negative mindset and because they are just plain comfortable with where they are in life.
I wanted to proactively do something about this. What if I could bring a bunch of women together for the common cause of creating a positive mastermind group for the benefit of keeping each other inspired and accountable? Could this be done? Are there enough ladies out there who desire to meet and befriend other like-minded positive ladies who want to have a huge positive impact on themselves, their families and ultimately the world. I BELIEVE SO!
I am inviting all of you to join me and the other ladies who are committing to live a conscious and positive lifestyle to join me at our luncheons. Expect to meet other ladies who want to support and encourage you and who you can in turn support and encourage as well.
I am so honored and tremendously happy that you are joining me. Together we are going to accomplish so many amazing things for ourselves and the world around us. I'm expecting to see many of you start your own successful business. Others will go on to have amazing charities that help so many less fortunate people. This is a new day that we are living and I can't wait to see the opportunities that are going to be handed to us just from our belief and positive expectations. See you at the next luncheon everyone!
~Alisani Brazil, The Happy Kindalista
http://thepamperedrose.com
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
When your friends abondon you, find new ones!
I've been getting word from people reading my blog that their friends are starting to avoid them. "Why is this happening all of a sudden?" I've been asked. The reason is simple really. When you were in a negative mindset you were attracting and being drawn to other negative people. Now that you are changing you are no longer like them so naturally they don't feel comfortable being around you. The way to remedy this is by doing things that make you happy, going places that bring you joy and expecting to find new people who are of a positive mindset. You probably already know some positive people but because you were negative they did not want to hang around you. Think of all of the people in your life who are happy and full of joy. Reach out to them and let them see the new person that you have become. You'll find that they will notice a change in you without you even having to tell them. They will welcome you in their circle with open arms because positive people understand that you can never have too many friends.
I know that this is a transition in your life right now and you may even be tempted to revert back to your old ways just to relate to your former friends. Do yourself a favor and be the leader that I know you are. Let your friends rise to your level and if they don't well just understand that their rejection is not about you but about them. This is where they are in their lives and you must accept and respect that.
I hope that you are proud of yourself for stepping up and choosing to grow as a person. Do something nice for yourself as a reward for your budding maturity and new found happiness. Give thanks for the wisdom and strength to make the right choices for the life that you are living. Life is so good and we have so much to be grateful for!
~Alisani Brazil
Click Here to receive a free copy of my book, "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
I know that this is a transition in your life right now and you may even be tempted to revert back to your old ways just to relate to your former friends. Do yourself a favor and be the leader that I know you are. Let your friends rise to your level and if they don't well just understand that their rejection is not about you but about them. This is where they are in their lives and you must accept and respect that.
I hope that you are proud of yourself for stepping up and choosing to grow as a person. Do something nice for yourself as a reward for your budding maturity and new found happiness. Give thanks for the wisdom and strength to make the right choices for the life that you are living. Life is so good and we have so much to be grateful for!
~Alisani Brazil
Click Here to receive a free copy of my book, "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
How To Know If You Are A Positive or Negative Person- You May Be Surprised
Most people generally believe that they are positive. It’s very rare that you meet a person who would consider themselves a negative person. This is because, people equate positive and negative based on how they view themselves as a person and most people believe that they are good people. Being positive is NOT based on your view of yourself. What determines if you are positive or negative is on how you view the world, your current situation and the emotions you emit when being faced with life’s challenges. Example: if you have the overall belief that people are born evil and need to work towards being good, than you by default have a negative outlook on life. The opposite is also true; if you believe that people are born good but may do bad things due to upbringing, neglect and/or abuse, you have a positive outlook on life. It is extremely important to know where your world view is regarding this because it affects how you treat people. If you believe that people are born evil, than every time you perceive that a person is mistreating you or someone else, you will naturally try to control the person and emotionally “beat” the evilness out of the person. This will subject you to negative thoughts and you will be inclined to display “justifiable” anger instead of show love, compassion and forgiveness to people. If you believe people are born good, you may be more inclined to take people with a grain of salt and understand that there are some deep emotional issues causing them to mistreat you, others and essentially themselves. You will show compassion and forgiveness and send prayers their way that they will get some professional help and start loving themselves.
People who are negative often use words that are unempowering and display character traits that repel others. These words reflect thoughts of living in fear, worry, insecurity, obsession and desperation. They also display habits of judgment, criticizing others, rudeness, envy, arrogance, argumentative, always being a victim of someone or something, making decisions out of guilt, giving expecting something in return and constantly complaining. They’re unable to understand their specialness so therefore they are unable to recognize the specialness in others. These people are an emotional drain to be around and you leave there presence feeling empty and sometimes even frustrated.
People who are positive use empowering words and display character traits that attract other people who are also happy and positive. These words include hope, gratefulness regardless of their current circumstances, seeing the good in others, not judging others behaviors, respecting others rights to their beliefs and choices, confidence and a healthy self-esteem, understanding their value and their uniqueness, seeing and outwardly recognizing the total beauty in others, and unselfish giving. These people are a joy to be around and you leave there presence feeling energized, inspired and emotionally satisfied.
The point of this book is to help you understand which side of the fence you are on. Are you positive or negative? Which character traits do you display and how can you make a change if you are on the negative side? You start by being grateful and by focusing on everything that you have instead of everything you perceive that you don’t have. Next, you make the conscious choice to start living and thinking in positive terms. This is EXTREMELY important because our perception directly affects our ability to live in the abundance of life. There can be no other way. Our thoughts determine our destiny and no one or nothing can do it for us.
If you believe that life is unfair and you don’t know why the world keeps giving you rotten lemons, you will continue to experience the unfairness of life. If you believe that life is fair and gives us exactly what we expect, than you will learn to expect blessings and for your dreams to come to pass, thus, you will receive more blessings and your dreams will most certainly come true. My challenge to you is to forgive everything that has happened to you in the past. My other challenge to you is to forgive yourself for harboring the virus of unforgiveness for so long and allowing it to negatively affect your life. Next, forgive yourself for things that you have done to others and let it go completely. Now, start seeing yourself as a happy, whole and abundant person. Finally, make the choice to FEEL with energy that you are abundant in every aspect of yourself RIGHT NOW and watch yourself start to accomplish amazing things.
Give thanks for this eye opener and make the choice to be a positive person. You are amazing and destined to do wonderful things.
~Alisani Brazil
Click here to receive a copy of my book, "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
People who are negative often use words that are unempowering and display character traits that repel others. These words reflect thoughts of living in fear, worry, insecurity, obsession and desperation. They also display habits of judgment, criticizing others, rudeness, envy, arrogance, argumentative, always being a victim of someone or something, making decisions out of guilt, giving expecting something in return and constantly complaining. They’re unable to understand their specialness so therefore they are unable to recognize the specialness in others. These people are an emotional drain to be around and you leave there presence feeling empty and sometimes even frustrated.
People who are positive use empowering words and display character traits that attract other people who are also happy and positive. These words include hope, gratefulness regardless of their current circumstances, seeing the good in others, not judging others behaviors, respecting others rights to their beliefs and choices, confidence and a healthy self-esteem, understanding their value and their uniqueness, seeing and outwardly recognizing the total beauty in others, and unselfish giving. These people are a joy to be around and you leave there presence feeling energized, inspired and emotionally satisfied.
The point of this book is to help you understand which side of the fence you are on. Are you positive or negative? Which character traits do you display and how can you make a change if you are on the negative side? You start by being grateful and by focusing on everything that you have instead of everything you perceive that you don’t have. Next, you make the conscious choice to start living and thinking in positive terms. This is EXTREMELY important because our perception directly affects our ability to live in the abundance of life. There can be no other way. Our thoughts determine our destiny and no one or nothing can do it for us.
If you believe that life is unfair and you don’t know why the world keeps giving you rotten lemons, you will continue to experience the unfairness of life. If you believe that life is fair and gives us exactly what we expect, than you will learn to expect blessings and for your dreams to come to pass, thus, you will receive more blessings and your dreams will most certainly come true. My challenge to you is to forgive everything that has happened to you in the past. My other challenge to you is to forgive yourself for harboring the virus of unforgiveness for so long and allowing it to negatively affect your life. Next, forgive yourself for things that you have done to others and let it go completely. Now, start seeing yourself as a happy, whole and abundant person. Finally, make the choice to FEEL with energy that you are abundant in every aspect of yourself RIGHT NOW and watch yourself start to accomplish amazing things.
Give thanks for this eye opener and make the choice to be a positive person. You are amazing and destined to do wonderful things.
~Alisani Brazil
Click here to receive a copy of my book, "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
In All Things Give Thanks
It is so important that you ALWAYS maintain your attitude of gratitude. Everything in life comes to us for our benefit to let us know the direction our mind is going. If all of a sudden, things in your life appear to be in chaos and disarray, reevaluate your thoughts. Are you dissatisfied about something? Have you been complaining? In all things give thanks. Thank God even for that which you do not understand. God knows exactly what we need right when we need it and it is all for our BENEFIT.
If you have been feeling ungrateful and complaining lately, take a timeout and forgive yourself. Next, ask God to forgive you and tell Him how thankful you are that you have been made aware of the directions of your thought.
You are very wise and you desire with all of your might to live a happy and abundant life. Be thankful for this wakeup call and than go and fulfill your purpose.
~Alisani Brazil
Click here to receive a copy of my book "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
If you have been feeling ungrateful and complaining lately, take a timeout and forgive yourself. Next, ask God to forgive you and tell Him how thankful you are that you have been made aware of the directions of your thought.
You are very wise and you desire with all of your might to live a happy and abundant life. Be thankful for this wakeup call and than go and fulfill your purpose.
~Alisani Brazil
Click here to receive a copy of my book "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista."
Dare to be Rejected
Many of you may be wondering why it is important to allow yourself to be rejected. It's because the people who have no fear of rejection take lots of risks and go very far.
Rejection is just a fact of life. Not everyone will want you or the service or product that you are selling. However, when you learn how to handle rejection gracefully you will find that the residual effects will be very positive.
When you present yourself or something that you are offering to a person or a group of people and they "reject" you right away, thank them for taking the time to listen and than give them the opportunity to contact you in the future if something changes. This simple act of graciousness on your part will leave a positive impression and they may be inclined to mentally file you away for a later time or pass your information on to a person or company who may in fact benefit from your service. Don't be afraid to ask them if you can have their contact information if it seems appropriate. Pushiness is neither attractive nor effective so don't be the "hard salesman." Relax and make the person feel comfortable around you. Who knows, you may just end up making a new friend. Positive minded people understand that you can never have to many positive minded friends so if this happens, you still end up coming out as a winner.
I hope that in reading this you have been inspired to push yourself to the limits and to move beyond your comfort zone. Rejection is not the end of the world and you should not stress over it. Everyone experiences it on a regular basis so don't take it personally or start questioning yourself. Just concentrate on doing the best you can everyday, looking for ways to improve, and allowing people to see the real you. You are an amazing person and you are going to go very far.
~Alisani Brazil
To get a copy of my book "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista" click here.
Rejection is just a fact of life. Not everyone will want you or the service or product that you are selling. However, when you learn how to handle rejection gracefully you will find that the residual effects will be very positive.
When you present yourself or something that you are offering to a person or a group of people and they "reject" you right away, thank them for taking the time to listen and than give them the opportunity to contact you in the future if something changes. This simple act of graciousness on your part will leave a positive impression and they may be inclined to mentally file you away for a later time or pass your information on to a person or company who may in fact benefit from your service. Don't be afraid to ask them if you can have their contact information if it seems appropriate. Pushiness is neither attractive nor effective so don't be the "hard salesman." Relax and make the person feel comfortable around you. Who knows, you may just end up making a new friend. Positive minded people understand that you can never have to many positive minded friends so if this happens, you still end up coming out as a winner.
I hope that in reading this you have been inspired to push yourself to the limits and to move beyond your comfort zone. Rejection is not the end of the world and you should not stress over it. Everyone experiences it on a regular basis so don't take it personally or start questioning yourself. Just concentrate on doing the best you can everyday, looking for ways to improve, and allowing people to see the real you. You are an amazing person and you are going to go very far.
~Alisani Brazil
To get a copy of my book "Lessons from the Happy Kindalista" click here.
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